Pride

The subtle ways I put myself first and how God is setting me free.

Pride is ugly in all of its forms.

In the last few years God has been revealing to me just how much pride is still present in my life. At face value, if you know me, you might say that I am a humble man. And it’s true, God has saved me and delivered me from so many aspects of pride. But pride has many subtler forms that are harder to recognize until they begin to produce all sorts of death.

In its simplest form, pride makes me the center of everything. People revolve around me. Life revolves around me. If my job is hard and unpleasant, that is bad, because my happiness and comfort is the highest priority.

But just because some of the more overt expressions of pride may not be seen or visible in my life, doesn’t mean it’s not present. Painfully, I’ve realized how subtle pride can be, especially within family, both natural and spiritual.

“But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” (James 4:6)

Even as he has exposed areas of pride, I’m not discouraged because he gives more grace. Oh how desperate I am for the grace of God!! Why am I man so obsessed (or on fire as the kids say) with the gospel? Because I need it. I need a constant reminder of who God is for me because pride is daily seeking to put me on a platform, on a pedestal, on one step higher than the person next to me. And whenever I consent to its insidious invitations I find myself being opposed by God. Like trying to ride a bicycle through the ocean.

I’m learning to recognize pride. To repent of it. And to clothe myself with the humility of Christ.

I see you, Pride.

• I open my Bible to Colossians. Every verse underlined, highlighted with notes in the margin. Someone glances over my shoulder and notices it, I feel good. You don’t see me feel good, I’m too humble for that.

• I typically don’t post sermon clips of myself, I’m too humble for that. But when someone else posts a clip, I check the comments, count the views, how did I stack up with the others? I close the app, I’m too humble for that.

• I’ve been working all day and come home to find the house still in disarray from the morning routine, “What has she been doing all day?” I think about all I accomplished that day and subtly say, “How was your day? What were you up to today?” Not because I care, but because I want to understand why she didn’t have time to do the most basic of tasks.

He gives more grace.

I cringe as I write these. Pride is ugly. But I am not a victim of it and I will not be a slave to it. I am a Christian. And because I am a Christian I know that humility, the very essence of Christ, is my inheritance. He gives more grace. And today, I am choosing to humble myself. To be an example to the fourteen people who will read this, and to invite you to recognize, reject and repent of the areas of pride in your life.